Letter Writing & Decoration Inspiration: Jokes
If there’s one thing we could all use these days, it’s the opportunity to laugh together. The theme of our most recent Zoom get-together was “Jokes for January” and here’s a list of the witty contributions from volunteers who joined us for a fun-filled afternoon.
Why not include a joke or two in your next letter to one of our seniors?
Thank you to our volunteers - Paula, Michelle, Blanche, Siri, and Susan for sending in photos of your heartwarming letters and cards!
(Saffy) What did the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we’ll go places!
(Paula) How does the ocean say hello?
(Ellen R) Why do fish swim in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
(Kathy) What’s a leprechaun’s favorite cereal?
(Kathy) Did you hear about the potato who moved to France?
He became a french fry!
(Diane) Why do birds fly south on New Year’s Eve?
Because it’s too far to walk!
(Anne) What do Alexander the Great and WInnie the Pooh have in common?
They have the same middle name!
(Mary) What do you call a baker who quits?
(Mary) What did one blueberry say to the other blueberry?
If we weren’t so sweet we wouldn’t be in this jam!
(Pat) What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear!
(Pat) What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!
(Shirley) What did Mama corn say to Baby corn?
Where’s Pop corn!
(Monique) What do you call a dog magician?
(Vicki) What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A Flat miner!
(Helen) Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months!
(Alice) How does a cucumber become a pickle? It’s a jarring experience!
(Marsha) What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?
Stop looking at me, I’m changing!
(Nancy) How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique (you sneak) up on it!
(Don) How do you catch a tame rabbit?
The tame (same) way!
(Janet) How much soda can a tropical bird drink?
Two cans! (toucan)
(Janet) What do you call a chemist who makes sodas?
(Helen) How do you learn to be a trash collector? You pick it up as you go along!
(Helen) Why does an elephant have such wrinkly skin?
It’s hard to iron!
(Helen) If you have 5 oranges in your right hand and 6 apples in your left hand, what do you have?
(Annesa) What starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it?
(Annesa) What’s the difference between a well-dressed man and a dog?
The man wears a suit, the dog just pants!
(Vicki) How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card!
(Vicki) Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
They’re just not good at it!
(Becky) What do you call a snowman vacationing in Florida?
(Becky) What do snowmen eat for lunch? BRRR-itos!
(Melina) What 7-letter word has hundreds of letters in it? A mailbox!
(Shreya) Knock, Knock…who’s there…yodel lady…yodelady de hoo!
(Ellen M) No matter how hard you push the envelope, it’s still stationery!
(Diane) A New Year’s Resolution goes in one year and out the other!
(Margret) A man asked me for a donation for a community swimming pool…so I gave him a glass of water!
(Margret) I replaced my bed with a trampoline…and my husband hit the ceiling!
(Deb) I called the incontinence hotline…they asked me if I could hold!
(Hannah) A highway patrolman stopped an elderly woman who was driving and knitting. “Pull over” he shouted…and she shouted back “No, cardigan!”
(June) A pregnant woman in a coma gave birth to twins. When she awoke the doctor told her that her brother had named the babies. The woman worried because her brother was a bit of an idiot but asked the doctor what the babies had been named. When the doctor told her the girl was named Denise, the woman was relieved…then the doctor told her the boy was named “Denephew!”
(Barb) A doctor and a truck driver were in love with the same woman. When the truck driver left town for a week, he gave the woman 7 apples.. When she asked why, he told her “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!”
(Winnie) A retired woman volunteered at the local hospital and after singing a song for an elderly male patient she told him she really hoped that he got better. He replied “I really hope you do too!”
(Don) The last time I went to the doctor he told me I spend too much time on the couch watching television….so I moved my TV into the bedroom!
As always...HAPPY WRITING!
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